Jon Barba – the gentle, relentless, and cathartic force behind the guise of Los Angeles’ Nicole Kidman – brought some of our mutual pals with him to Pehrspace on Monday to perform a new story, “I Don’t Want To Die.” As he says in the beginning of the video, the first part is about a girl Jon knew when he was younger, the second part is about Miley Cyrus, and the third part is about God. Our bros standing off to the side providing accompaniment are Geoff and Tyler of Pizza!.
It’s difficult for me to write about Jon’s music, he hits a soft spot internally that is painful to massage…but to acknowledge these places inside, I can only appreciate with all of the emotional energy that I can invest. Whether it be love in a variety of situations, eccentric confusion, or coping with life when it lies out of your hands, I believe it’s impossible to fully grasp the weight of these songs, let alone entire cassettes. They are each fogged windows which allow us to just take small peeks into this sweetheart’s guts, mind, heart, and presence. His output is far too great for me to keep track of, but he has a running list on his MySpace and his recent release Teen Worship (on Obeast Tapes) is one of my most treasured pieces of physical music. You can read a great piece about Nicole Kidman and FMLY’s Philip Seymour Hoffman in a Seattle newspaper, The Stranger, right here. Lyrics for “I Don’t Wanna Die” are after the jump.
nicole kidman – thirst for god
Nicole Kidman – I’m in Love with a Jehovahs Witness
Kevin Greenspon & Nicole Kidman – Tyrone
I met a girl in the 8th grade
who reminded me of what it is to care.
She held my hand and slipped me mescaline
while playing around with her hair.
We’re learning what to do on a first date
all alone on the couch.
I shut my eyes and withered away
imagined my fingers were in her mouth.
I don’t want to die
I just want to wake up to do a different life.
I’m taking note of your lipgloss
I’m writing you letters of my intent
I never wanted to be your stalker
I just cant help that this makes sense.
Nobody wants a dull useless man
but im gonna try till it works
I never wanted to be your stalker
but ill do anything to numb this hurt.
God showed me all about what it was to give
and He gave me more than I deserved.
Showed me the man that i could be
by smashing me down into this earth.
philip seymour hoffman's "semi-marxist like us" is out now on the fmly recording company. limited to 300 hand numbered copies. 
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